Friday, December 4, 2009

Rapping E=Mc² upside your Head

Yes, I'm sure there's some entertaining and well done Hip Hop and Rap but since I'm not going to spend my time looking for needles in a haystack I thought maybe I be where it's at and here's a song off my Rap Sucks album coming soon.

Dog Poet Rapping.......

aight aight aight aight
right right right right
dumbit down, dumbit down
pimps and ho's pimps and ho's
back on a leash for the devil again
acting the fool only it aint pretend

This must be some law of physics
if 3 pimp rollers are moving backward on a train
and your are standing in the station
maybe humming love in vain
will they arrive in grand central before you
will the same thing happen on another day
even though you are not moving and
they are going the wrong way

aight aight aight aight
right right right right
dumbit down dumbit down
down to the bottom

saying stupid fresh, aight aight aight
dis this dis that
word up what's the word
for someone who buys into flash
into the temporary life that is
already gone past

burning and raging
till the fuel is gone
and it's cold and it's lonely
and you got to move on.

Call a man brother if brother he be
or you cop to the fact of the real you and me
are the same as the other
that might just be so
but the rest of it's bullshit
believe me I know

aight aight aight aight
rightright right right
dumb it down dumbit down

when I rap I often think of
Spinoza and Descartes if they were
filtered through a buzzard and then
turned into a fart
they both may have some merit
though aesthetics tend to vary
like the Starship Enterprise
from the Staten Island Ferry.

You got your Battleship Galactica
Michael Jackson faggot
dressed up like a Christmas tree
and you're talking like a parrot
every single rap song can't remember what it said
the [Mc]donalds side of music it's disposable and dead
It leaves plastic cartons rotting on the sidewalks of your mind
you're bitch end up for Wal-Mart they are porking your behind

the shit comes on the radio thumping saying nothing
bitch this and punk that
brain rape jackhammer bad fucking technique
nowhere repetition can't get no relief
sounds like machinery from a factory in Hell
dense as a brick of compressed shit
this garbage really smells.

aight aight aight aight
right right right right
dumbit down dumbit down
gotta wonder where it is this is supposed to go
gotta wonder where this music is headed
what kind of world it means
what kind of flowers grow there
what kind of people go there
what kinda I don't know where
I am where was I going who was
I when I started heading down
into matter, down into denser darker
hotter thicker closer pressing condensing
pushing can't breathe in this hot
smoky Steven Hawkings bent outa shape
so as to make it look straight
like Picasso on crack took a chainsaw
to the world and some retard with a can
of glue pasted it back together one piece
on top of the other pressing and smashing
and no light, no air, no freedom
and I don't fucking care cause I'm
dead now but I thought it was over
shit it ain't over I'm still here pressing
harder pressing into the shit only the music
is like knives cutting me with a bunch of
bitches and ho's and motherfuckas and fuck this
and fuck that, every word a knife and I'm
pressed into the shit

please god give me something
else let me out of this jackhammer thudding
non-stop shit talking nowhere embarrassing
non-art form load of shit that I bought into
with everyone else and all it did was make Wal-Mart rich
and all it did was make the merchants rich
and they sold it like they'll sell anything
their mothers and their children even themselves
if they get a good price saw off the limb
they're standing on,
do a mobius fuck themselves up the ass on TV
for the right money
call Hitler honey, suck Pol Pots dick

aight aight aight aight
hit the clubs with Mick
right right right right
dinner with Stalin- cocktails with Marlon
douche up with Elton dig up red Skelton
my face is melting
cause I took acid with
bitches and ho's and pimps and punks
bitches and ho's and pimps and punks
" " " " " " " "" " " " " " " " " "

nice world dudes
real Michelangelo Beethoven enhanced natural groove
very clean and crystaline
real architecture
real Spanish guitar and pianisimo forte
a la morte...dead..dead and stinking.
stinking bad...bad ...bad...
You got lost and we got had.

End Rap.......

Patrick Willis narrates:


John said...

Please. I must hear this.

Rebel 4E said...

Hmmmm! Doggy Dog....quite a mash up! lol!
There are talented 'Rappers' out there with many intelligent things to say.
You just won't hear much about them in the mainstream because it doesn't fit into the Social Engineering Agenda.
Fuck This & That..Bitches,Bling,Guns & Ho's...that's the stuff 'They' like to push on the impressionable children.

Visible said...

Well... they're not the target. I thought Eminem did some brilliant things; Stan's Song (is that what it's called?) and Slim Shady.

Even if it was absolutely great I still wouldn't listen to it. I don't listen to anything any more and I wouldn't listen to my own stuff if I wasn't forced to due to recording and so on and so forth.

I like ambient sound and Brazilian Jazz (doing a jazz album at the moment too) but I don't listen to those either. I don't know what it is but I just don't listen to music. I drive 1400 kilometers back and forth between houses and don't listen to anything except the voices in my head; if there happen to be any.

Maybe that will change. I don't know.

Maybe that will

Rebel 4E said...

Music is one of the biggest pleasures in my life.
Keeps me relatively sane/unsane...
Whatever (o__O)
I have no particular preference, just whatever 'catches my ear' or if I'm lucky..makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand stand up.
I'll tell you what's been spinning in my head lately (grin)
"God's not dead he's merely hiding..."
Real catchy tune!


Zoner said...

Slammin'. No 808 required to feel your deep groove, brother.

You get the 20's on the VW yet?


Pstonie said...

Can't know much about the Big G if you be hatin' on the bucket, fool.

string the dingleberry garland said...

Beat box to MC L.V.! Bitch slap rappin' with the cocaine tongue played out before it had begun. Got my rims and bling my corporate logo shines bright. Fightin over a street the white man owns gotta make them jew *gasp* (forbidden word) record company pimps rich. Be sure to buy the censored version at wallyworld after all someone must support china's economy.

Peter said...
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Peter said...
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Anonymous said...

If it's not a ballad and I'm sober, then I have no idea what it is much less sing it. If Shane McGowan can sing it then I am willing to have a go. I was reading and trying to put some sort of "air" to your piece, but maybe I'm just too old, or, I'm using the wrong baccy. Reading your piece did make me think though. It made me think I must have made a wrong turn on the way home, and I'm now in a village of the Bigenders. It would appear the people here are fit to fight at the least of excuses.
It's as if I was in the pub and was watching the police go past with a gurney. You see they were on their way to court, and the gurney contained a social cripple of sorts. He was said to have committed all sorts of crimes in his youth, but despite some other criminal being found guilty of said crimes (probably in Littlend, but who's countin), despite being crippled and dying of old age, this felon must be tried "justly". As truth will out in a just society.
Meanwhile from the other end of this great parish a convoy of the local city fathers who had just departed the local recruitment office, where they had just enlisted a new batch of recruits, (to replace the old batch), to continue their new, new, just war for peace. It would appear this second contingent were on their way to collect their "gong of peace". It would appear that both the parishes of both "Enders" were under threat from a new enemy. This new enemy was a threat to both "Ends", those of course were the "Stani's", and the city fathers had a plan.
Thinking of any people, and the way they will fight at the least of reasons. Be it a family seated at the table in dispute as to which end should be cracked ere the egg would be eaten, only to further the conflict as to where to steal salt, or pepper. Then to further inflame the situation by trampling the neighbours property in the dispute.
I have no way of saying as to where this comes from, just you started me thinking of one of my favorite authors and how he would have perceived this whole pile o'dung we have left in our wake as thinking animals. We are not worthy of the great thinkers of time, as we have proved too weak to carry the ingenuity they have left us. So what effin odds if Wacko came back in his Battlestar. Bubbles might have more sense if he were manning the power-washer, and wash the whole lot into a new beginning.
Les, keep the faith.

nina said...

I love it Vizzo.

mc hammer's crackpipe said...

L.V. to hear some of the funniest rap ever look for the Notorious MSG it is some Chinese rappers. Another one is The Two Live Jews (forbidden word alert!) "as kosher as they wanna be" it is from the early 90s and probably out of print.

gurnygob said...

Les you’re firing on all four cylinders. It’s hard to keep up, but you go for it baby. Don't let the dust settle. I haven’t read this post yet, but don’t mind that, cause this train just keeps rolling, right on down the track. When it stops it stops.
Time for me to get off. See you in the morning.
Ps. you better not be picking on the Church or I will go over there and kick your skinny ass.


punyworm said...

Talking about music....
Willie Nelson is hard to beat.

gurnygob said...

off topic. but "Government forced to defend climate change advert."

I was a more than a little pissed off at this advert when it came on MSM here in the North of Ireland. I have a 4 year old grand-daughter and I don't want her taking this shit in.
Glad to see that some one high-up is taking a stand.
It seems that this tower of “Babel” is falling on all sides thanks to the Email leaks.

Unknown said...

Side-splitting laughter erupted from me after the first two lines. Whatcha' gonna call yourself? V Dog? Vizzo? Uncle V?...nice one Les.....hOw HigH, So HigH that I can kiSS The sKy....

Peter said...
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Anonymous said...

Tupac Shakur was one of the greatest human beings to walk this planet.


McCob said...

Bach, Mozart kind of guy myself

McCob said...

eminem is a genius. Horrific imagery, insightful characterizations, convoluted ironies...hec knows how to tell a story...the dude could really turn a phrase...Outside of Chuck Berry and Hank Williams I am not sure I have ever heard a better lyricist. Dr. Dre also seems to have an excellent ear for production...personally, though, I can't stant rap or hip hop

Visible said...

neither can I but I'm guessing that's evident. It annoys me. It always feels like someone is trying to stick their dick in my ear.

McCob said...

Les, I hope you don't mind if I use the "dick in my ear" expression. I am still laughing as I type this. I should probably ask you if I can use the phrase, "golfers are the walking dead". I also used your quip, "Tiger got his putter stuck in a sand and honey trap", while on stage playing at the bar the other night. The place was full and they all laughed. Say the word and I promise I will never plagiarize you again. (and you gave my most humble apology if you feel I wronged you)

On another note: You think the paparazzi might be hounding tiger now? (rhetorical question)

Visible said...

help yourself. I was thinking about brain rape and the ear sounded better than the nose. Anyway, I don't listen with my nose.

Anonymous said...

For instance, the artist Qwel generally has very intelligent, timely things to say. I gave definitions and made some grammatical corrections in parentheses for ease of reading and understanding:

"It's neo-90's future drama
Futurama, shoot your mama, sue your father on a tv show...
I know the truth your Honor (God),
but (look at) the proof - just aint so easy (to) quote:
It seems like nowadays
everybody can speak (their) minds except Christians.
If I was lying about how I'm buckin', (about my quality of life)
these rubber duckies (masses) would listen.
If I was rhyming about the club and all the bub (champagne/high life) that (they're) missin',
they'd love this hissin' (music)
and love the system
dubbin' it "wisdom."
Some claim (they're) Christian on the surface, while (their) churches (are) prisons
...but some prisons are churches compared to the love that they're given.
It ain't 'religion,' (this) shit is war,
but they don't know their own bibles,
I mean, they own bibles and all, but they don't own (up) to (their) bibles."

McCob said...

Les--about music and why people like what they like. I grew up with the Beatles and the Stones. I thought that them and there followers were real cool and everything else was not.

I had a big belt buckle Ernie Tubbs kind of country boy for a friend. We hung out together and partied a lot. I had such a good time in those hick dives. I began to associate good times with George Jones and Merle Haggard. I began to appreciate guys like that and developed a taste for the music. I started to think, "they're not hick, they're slick."

I think if I had a rapper friend and got to some of those kind of parties and had a good time I might start to develop a taste for rap due to the association.

Music is a pretty subjective thing. If a person likes to listen to a chainsaw cutting sheet metal I guess that is their perogative.

Visible said...

What other people do and how it operates on them is what it is. I'm not on an anti-rap campaign, I just don't like it and I think it's a negative in a lot of ways.

I could hang out with heroin addicts and I might realize that hey, heroin is pretty cool. I could probably hang out with bankers and come to understand their point of view but I wouldn't share it.

Your logic is useful as far as it goes but it doesn't change anything for me.

If I was on a campaign against rap I could understand running in to all sorts of things. I'm not on such a campaign. it just so happens that my system reacts to the jackhammer plosive redundant idiocy of the form. I don't like opera or ballet either but there are some arias that are beautiful.

Anonymous said...


I don't think that you are anti rap.

I am always surprised when people respond to my posts in these forums. I have my talents and aptitudes but I don't consider myself particularly smart.

I read scribes like yourself (or Shakespeare, Tolstoy, Hermann Hesse, whoever) so I can sort my own thoughts out and understand my feelings better. How many men in history have truly had an original thought? And isn't 98% of the art, music, and literature of any generation less than memorable? I think so.

Anyway, I think you misconstrued my meaning and intent. I hope I haven't put you off. I only meant to make a comment about why people like the music they like. It was not meant for anyone in particular.

I think you are a great writer and a charismatic person. You may be a leader of a great and historic movement (and God knows this movement needs leaders cause more than anything else that is surely what it is missing).

This part of your blog is more for lighter things? Am I right in that assumption?


musikal encyclopedia said...

Rap as in wrap it up. The final degradation of culture stealing beats from mom & dad's record collection. The only fun in rap is figuring out what samples they are stealing. I have heard Simon & Garfunkel, America, Lou Reed, Led Zeppelin, Creedence Clearwater Revivial all used in rap. Steve Miller made a Texas rap group change their song and remove a sample of gangster of love so they stole a Lynyrd Skynyrd riff instead.

Bootenany Lee Farnsworth said...

Anon @ 13:12 if 2Pac had the gun he raps about in every song maybe he would have had a fighting chance that night in Vegas?

Anonymous said...

Rap -

Art portrays a reality.
In this case, it is one that is not worth knowing,
which makes the story of those trapped in it all the more tragic.
Cultural bankruptcy on all levels.

John said...

Sing this one, brother.


Cling Film said...

Nice one, Les

That just about wraps it up

vollsticks said...

Can't wait to hear your jazz album!